Haiku Revieu | Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice
★★

Batfleck is angry
Thanks be for Wonder Woman
What did I just watch?

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Fearing that the actions of Superman are left unchecked, Batman takes on the Man of Steel, while the world wrestles with what kind of a hero it really needs.

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WARNING: Possible spoilers ahead.

Sometimes, you go into a movie knowing that it's going to be a massive disappointment, and you leave pleasantly surprised that it wasn't as bad as you'd expected. Unfortunately, such was not the case with Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice.

Sure, there were some good things about it:

• Gal Gadot does a great job playing Diana Prince/Wonder Woman. It's a shame she only had like 5 lines and 10 minutes of proper screen time. I'm looking forward to seeing more from her in her solo film. (Bonus points for it not being directed by Zach Synder.)
• We got to see Aquaman on the big screen.
• Superman and Batman are now BFFs thanks to their moms both being named Martha.
• Henry Cavill is nice to look at.

On the whole, however, this movie was such a mess. The plot was disorganized and overloaded with stuff that didn't need to be there, specifically Batman's origin story and Bruce's super weird dream sequences. Ben Affleck was decent as Bruce Wayne, but his fight scenes at Batman were terrible. (And WHAT was with the random Batcave crossfit montage?) Batman's obsession with Superman also reached nearly Criminal Minds-levels of creepy before it fizzled out in mere seconds. (Basically.)

All of what I really liked about Man of Steel's Clark Kent/Superman and Lois Lane were reduced to brooding looks and damsel-in-distress scenarios. Was Lois only in this movie to be saved by Clark? Why was Clarke all of a sudden kind of a dick?

Jesse Eisenberg's Lex Luthor was unbelievably bizarre and used as a way to further the plot without really ever giving it any sort of context. His lack of backstory was also confusing; Where did he come from? Why was he out to pit Superman and Batman against each other? Why did he have those files on the various superheroes? (It's like they were trying to make a weird evil version of Nick Fury, only ... terrible.)

Additionally, the whole "Dawn of Justice" idea was relegated to the very end of the film and a brief fight scene in which Superman, Batman and Wonder Woman barely say anything to each other. Where's the "team" in that?

I really think it would have been smarter for DC to do a series of solo movies to introduce the characters they wanted to eventually form the Justice League rather than trying to make "fetch" happen releasing this "bridge movie." I'd recommend waiting to watch this one on TV, and fast forwarding through much of it.

Check it out: